there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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