We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
