you mean i was at the winter classic?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
