She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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