just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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