I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I did not marry a roomba.
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