just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize