Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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