i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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