So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
