I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
