Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
