Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
