Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
