Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
