I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize