There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
