Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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