I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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