I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
