I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
