Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
