??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
