she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
