dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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