how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
