Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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