Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize