I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My cat gives me a boner
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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