and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
