I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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