what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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