he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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