Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
