Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
