I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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