shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
