I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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