I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
