i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
