i permit you to call me
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
