question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
