I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
