Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
