I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can I color on your dick again?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
