Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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