im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize