we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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