the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize