I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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