Don't you send me to vm
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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