...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
