my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
