I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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