Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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