WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
