I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
