nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
