I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
