Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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