I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
