you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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