how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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