Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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