im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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