Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
